I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
