We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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