I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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