i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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