Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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