yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
