What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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