woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize