i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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