so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
how drunk are you?
Several
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
