all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Randomize
