i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
My breasts were aching with rage.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
