Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
