i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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