Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
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