Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize