ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
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I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
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yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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