We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
