She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
