We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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