True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
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I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
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He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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