Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
