You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
