My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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