Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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