White coat. Heels.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Randomize
