i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize