I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
