Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
