I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
