The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I want a musical about memes.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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