the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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