I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
