Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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