Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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