I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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