I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
