i barfeds in our rink
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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