Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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