She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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