Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
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