Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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