we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
