i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
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