not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
