So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
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Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
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I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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