all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
