Im at strip club and am horny
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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