that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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