You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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