hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
