tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
