so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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