I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
