he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
My dick has a subreddit
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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