Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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