I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
