chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
