I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
