He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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