im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
