Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
