Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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