But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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